(no subject)

Today I did something I usually don't, went to movies alone. I don't know why, but movies are usually social thing for me, except at movie festivals. Last time I went to regular movies all by myself was probably in the 90's when Star Wars digitally remastered were running. This time I went to see The Imaginarium of Dr. Parnassus. I'm not going to say anything about it yet. I find out whether a movie was important or not about a month later - if it pops up in my thoughts again and again, it had some meaning. It's surprising what movies stay in one's mind. Last year or couple of years ago I went to see a film called Secret of the Grain at R&A film festival. It was a story about a former shipbuilder, who wanted to open a couscous restaurant, and his family. It was acted so naturally, so truely, that it was almost impossible to believe it was not a documentary or living life. Family quarrels, normal life, cooking.... And I can't stop thinking about it, even though I can't point out what was the special thing about it.

Also, I went to Hesburger fast food restaurant and bought a fishburger. As far as I can remember, I've never been to a fastfood hamburger place alone. So next week I don't need to try anything new since I did TWO new things this week.

I have two small-scale social programs going on. Number one is smiling flirtatiously at potential school shooters (from safe places like a moving bus). I'm still so close to teen-age that I can spot a gloomy teen wallowing in self-pity and deep feeling of being treated unfairly by the world. You know, "nobody loves meee...and i hate the world" type. But as I'm getting older and closer to their mothers' age, it's probably less and less effective.

Social program number two is talking to drunkards and homeless people (as long as they don't appear dangerous). One when I was in the tram a drunkard came on board and tried to talk to anyone, or more like mumble and garble, but somehow communicate. Everyone pretended he did not exist (and Finns are really good at it!). after leaving the tram, I started wondering what it does to a person's sanity if no-one seems to register he exists. So I try to notice the drunkards.

Today as I was sitting in the fast food place, one guy came to my table and asked for 2 euros for food. I told him I could buy him a burger, so he changed his story to needing 2 euros for travel ticket. So I promised to buy him a travel ticket, and did, to his astonisment. He did try to get me to buy him tobacco and ask to marry me, which I both declined. By the time I was putting the coins to the ticket machine, he knew that I knew that he knew that I knew he had no use for the ticket, and became embarrassed. As the last resort to try to save his tenderhearted-woman scamming image, he said he'd sell the ticket. I replied no-one would buy it from him and he should just use it for traveling somewhere. He said he would and apologised that he's such a clown when drunk, with a different expression on his face than previously. Somehow I felt it was the best used 2 euro coin in a long time - of course i can't tell for sure what went in his mind but it really seemed that it was something quite unusual for him. Me coming out of he role of the annoyed normal citizen who tries to get rid of the drunk as fast as possible and he getting out of the role of the bothersome begging drunk and into being just some guy. Maybe he remembered that he is not the archetypal drunkard, but a person. The usual interaction between the Drunkard and the Normal Citizen is quite formalised and always following the same set patterns. I try my best to meet them as persons and do something which is not in the script. But only as long as I'm comfortable with it, if things turn even slightly scary I'm a Normal Citizen with wings on her heels. Not willing to risk my health for these social programs...